Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Dinner @ Uncle John's 11.22.18

Today is Thanksgiving, day of giving thanks. I'm not sure how I feel about Thanksgiving (maybe a B tier holiday for me), but I do have quite a few Thanksgiving stories I've amassed over the years since I've been back in the US. 

For some reason Thanksgiving dinner at Uncle John's, featuring Dr. Samuel (photo below), from four years ago was the first memory of Thanksgiving that came to mind. Uncle John (photo above) is not actually anybody's uncle (or at least, definitely not mine). His name is Hyukman Kwon (권혁만), and he and his wife Maria are proud residents of Palisades Park, New Jersey (for over twenty years now). As with all connections, the way my family met Uncle John was through my grandparents. My paternal grandparents met Uncle John at a church in Seoul (명동성당), and my parents reached out to him when we moved to New Jersey. In Korean, we call Uncle John 요한아저씨, which almost literally means Mr. John — John comes from his Christian baptismal name. Something sounded a little off with "Mr. John," so in English my brother and I call him Uncle John instead. And Uncle John is technically my godfather, not to mention the closest thing to family that my brother and I have in New Jersey.

Uncle John and Aunt Maria invited us for Thanksgiving dinner that year. For some reason Uncle John's coworker (or maybe he was his friend from church? Not that it makes much of a difference.) and his wife were there too when we came (enter Dr. Samuel to the scene). We knew absolutely nothing about Dr. Samuel, Uncle John's friend, except for the fact that he came here to eat, just like the rest of us. He made it pretty clear throughout the evening that he wasn't here for any funny business: no more than ten words left his mouth, and five of the ten were to ask Aunt Maria for more rice and banchan (cue the Korean patriarchy). A minimalist man of no reaction, not even to the "Telephone Line" by Electric Light Orchestra that I sang on Uncle John's karaoke machine before dinner. 

 

Dr. Samuel vs. turkey leg

As an aside, I've never been much of a fan of turkey — a C tier meat, personally speaking (though there are times when it moves up to a modest B tier). The way I think about it, Thanksgiving is never really about the turkey but the side dishes around it. That Thanksgiving dinner was the first time I had a Korean American Thanksgiving. Instead of mashed potatoes and gravy, we had rice and kimchi. Instead of brussel sprouts and stuffing, we had picked radishes and root vegetables. We did still have wine, though. As with most things for the first time, Korean American Thanksgiving was neither better or worse, just different. 

The thing is, as much as we had no idea who Dr. Samuel and his wife were, they also had no idea who we were. So we spent the dinner introducing ourselves. Or at least, my brother and I did. Like I mentioned earlier, Dr. Samuel had his hands literally full the entire night (refer to figure above). At some point Uncle John took over in recounting the origin story of how the two families met. Apparently he knew our family quite well already in Korea, which was something I hadn't known before. I started to zone out a bit as I ate my turkey slices, when all of a sudden I heard Uncle John's voice get quiet. 

I wasn't really sure how he got there, but Uncle John was recalling the day my dad's brother passed away from a sudden heart attack. Uncle John received a call from my grandfather and hurried with Aunt Maria to the hospital. He remembered my grandfather's face that day, struck with shock and sorrow, still, holding on, in prayer. I saw Uncle John's eyes water when he said this, and Uncle John pressed his eyes with his fingers as he caught his breath. In the silence I looked down at my plate and let out a sigh. I'd never heard Uncle John tell this story before. And it took less than three seconds for Dr. Samuel, chewing, to break the silence.

"Maria, more rice."